30. I shall be drawn up to the hills by the attraction I have for Hrishikesh

XXX(Translated from Bengali)

Salutation to Bhagavān Ramakrishna!

GHAZIPUR,

2nd April, 1890.

MY DEAR KĀLI (ABHEDĀNANDA),

Glad to receive your letter as well as Pramadā Bābu’s and Bāburām’s (Premānanda’s). I am doing pretty well here. You have expressed a desire to see me. I too have a similar longing, and it is this that makes me afraid of going. Moreover, the Bābāji forbids me to do so. I shall try to go on a few days’ leave from him. But there is this fear that by so doing I shall be drawn up to the hills by the attraction I have for Hrishikesh, and it will be very difficult to shake it off, specially for one weak-minded, you see, like myself. The attack of lumbago, too, will not leave me on any account—a botheration! But then I am getting used to it. Please convey my countless salutations to Pramadā Bābu; his is a friendship which greatly benefits both my mind and body. And I am particularly indebted to him. Things will turn up some way, anyhow.

With best wishes,

Yours affectionately,
VIVEKANANDA.