To Mr. E. T. Sturdy
Your last letter reached me after knocking about a little through insufficient address.
It is quite probable that very much of your criticism is just and correct. It is also possible that some day you may find that all this springs from your dislike of certain persons, and I was the scapegoat.
There need be no bitterness, however, on that account, as I don’t think I ever posed for anything but what I am. Nor is it ever possible for me to do so, as an hour’s contact is enough to make everybody see through my smoking, bad temper, etc. “Every meeting must have a separation” — this is the nature of things. I carry no feeling of disappointment even. I hope you will have no bitterness. It is Karma that brings us together, and Karma separates.
I know how shy you are, and how loath to wound others’ feelings. I perfectly understand months of torture in your mind when you have been struggling to work with people who were so different from your ideal. I could not guess it before at all, else I could have saved you a good deal of unnecessary mental trouble. It is Karma again.
The accounts were not submitted before, as the work is not yet finished; and I thought of submitting to my donor a complete account when the whole thing was finished. The work was begun only last year, as we had to wait for funds a long time, and my method is never to ask but wait for voluntary help.
I follow the same idea in all my work, as I am so conscious of my nature being positively displeasing to many, and wait till somebody wants me. I hold myself ready also to depart at a moment’s notice. In the matter of departure thus, I never feel bad about it or think much of it, as, in the constant roving life I lead, I am constantly doing it. Only so sorry, I trouble others without wishing it. Will you kindly send over if there is any mail for me at your address?
May all blessings attend you and yours for ever and ever will be the constant prayer of